My Big Fuckin’ Fag Flag

I wear it around my waist. It billows around my legs. It is my skirt, and it is fantastic.

I need to get more skirts, more leggings. I want to wear them every goddamn day. Not because I look amazing in them, although when I wear them sometimes I catch a glimpse of a life that might have been out of the corner of my eye, but because they’re a goddamn statement.

Yes, I am an exotic superqueer doublefag (or “tranny” if you prefer to be laconic). Yes, I work here too. And if you ask, yes, my stats are better than yours. I will correct your pronoun use. I will repeat my name loudly, because I am April like the month! and I will do this as long as it takes. My hair is pulled back by my scrunchy of doom, and sometimes I’m even wearing makeup (although you wouldn’t notice because you’d expect me to look like a goddamn circus clown).

Here’s the thing about flying your colors: people notice, and they react. There are a few people here who used to speak to me a lot who don’t speak to me anymore. There are a few people who never spoke, but never noticed, who now notice, mostly to grimace in that way that says “I am deeply uncomfortable with you being here, but I’m going to pretend I’m okay.” There are people who talk to me just as much as before, either by choice or because we share a cubicle and I ain’t going nowhere.

I haven’t won any friends doing this. But I know the ones I’ve kept are good. And I feel safer, like every day I do this without incident proves there’s nothing to be scared of. Someday, I hope to not be scared to use the bathroom.

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7 thoughts on “My Big Fuckin’ Fag Flag

  1. Double YAY for you sister!! That’s the same strategy I developed and IT WORKS! I can’t promise that the fear factor goes away from the bathroom usage, but so far for me it has reduced to very mild apprehension 🙂

  2. It’s a fashion statement! It’s an identity statement! It’s a political statement! It’s three skirts in one! Sounds like you’re getting excellent value from that one.

    As for those who’ve been stuck mute by the sheer awesomeness (undoubtedly the cause), I’d hazard a guess that they’re not all lost causes. It took you a little while to ready yourself for wearing it, it might take a few of them a bit to get used to the idea, or to realize that you are the same *person* as before, it’s just that who you are can now be seen more clearly.

    The ones who never get used to it – well, they’ve got their own problems which aren’t worth wasting your time over.

    • I have to admit I’m tempted to resurrect my bitchy vampire act and start tormenting them. I won’t, but the knowledge that if I really wanted to, I could make their lives hell is soothing.

      • The knowledge that you have a nuclear arsenal at your disposal can help a lot.

      • What I really need is a way to find a middle ground, so I have a solid escalation of force scale. I need to be able to reply with a proportional response.

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