I’m at the Taco Bell, and at my local Taco Bell they’ve got a gimmick where they write down your name as they take your order so they can call you up by your name as if they know and care about you. It’s silly and contrived, but also a little sweet, and that’s pretty much how you could describe Beaverton in general.

So I give my order and I pay my money, and the assistant manager taking my order is this middle aged fellow who asks me my name and I say I’m April. He hesitates for a moment, and then instead of writing down my name he writes ‘#’ and tells me they’ll call my number soon.

He looks at my face. At my boobs. Thinks about my name, and how it doesn’t match my voice. And writes ‘#’.

That’s when I realized he was scared of me. Anywhere else, any time else, he’d have told me to jump off bridge, or shaken his head disapprovingly, or something like that. He’s scared of my gender, and that fear, in another climate, would translate to poor treatment. But he can’t do that now because he’s at work, and he works in the service industry, which means his job sucks and is held at the pleasure of people who come in to drop five bucks and then never come by again.

So he writes down ‘#’ instead of my name because he can’t bring himself to say my name aloud and validate my femininity, but he can’t be too much of an asshole, either. Middle aged guys are terrified of trannies. They’re scared we’ll make penises less important. (And we will.) They’re scared we’ll recruit their children. (We don’t recruit; we liberate.) They’re scared we’ll make them gay. (That hot chick you see? Her dick’s bigger than yours, and that turns you on, doesn’t it?)

I’m glad he’s scared. He should be scared. That’s a healthy fear.

We’re not shutting up.

We’re not going away.

We’re part of your life for the rest of your life.

I am your goddamn future.

Be terrified.


12 thoughts on “‘#’

  1. I… could not have handled that calmly. XD Some things I can walk away from, but that would have made me angry. “Excuse me, sir, you asked for my name, not my number. As I wouldn’t give you my number anyway, the name is [name].”

  2. > Middle aged guys are terrified of trannies.

    I’m sorry this is the breadth of your experience, kid. In reality, some of us are your allies, so be careful with your generalizations.

  3. “Excuse me please, I have a name. The last person I knew of whose name was a symbol was Prince. I would like to have words with your manager. Now!”

    According to the latest HRC Corporate Equality Index, Yum Brands (the parent company of KFC, Pizza Hut and Taco Bell) ranks a score of 45 out of 100. Their “official” policy prohibits discrimination based on sexual orientation but not gender identity. A quick look around their website shows nothing about a diverse workplace.

    That ranks right up there with “What is your real name?”
    “No, really. What is your real name?”
    “I said it’s Sarah you ignorant dumbass!”


    • I have a theory that the ignorant bigots are frightened because they feel their own masculinity threatened. It’s as if we carry a pair of scissors in our shoulder bags to cut their dicks off.

      The other excuse is that they are too thick to use their own brain and have to have some hypocrite in a dress (priest) do their thinking for them and.

      Or the other possibility is that they are registered blind and cannot see with their own eys the reality in front of them.

      The last time an ignorant young man in a supermarket called me sir despite being corrected I summoned the manager and made a formal complaint to head office. He was disciplined for showing a lack of respect to a customer. He was apparently brining his religion into the workplace. They deserve pity, though because they are at heart just ignorant bastards.

      • I have a theory that the ignorant bigots are frightened because they feel their own masculinity threatened. It’s as if we carry a pair of scissors in our shoulder bags to cut their dicks off.

        Yes, exactly.

  4. I don’t think he was scared, probably just trying to do his job while not compromising on his beliefs (whatever they may be). I used to work in costumer service and you do have to be nice to everyone, even if someone is being extremely rude to you, which can be super annoying. I always kinda failed at that though, I was extremely neutral with rude costumers, no smiles or anything for them, with nice costumers I was friendly and chatty. I totally was not made for costumer service, I wear my emotions on my sleeve too much xD

    • Oh he’s just trying to avoid compromising his beliefs, eh? Well those beliefs he’s trying not to compromise? Those are based on fear.
      A lot of people have this weird fetish for beliefs, like respecting someone’s beliefs is more important than expecting that person to respect other people.
      I don’t fucking care if he’s sincere in his fear-based passive-aggression towards me, it’s still obnoxious, and it still makes him a frightened, weak person using whatever petty power he has to take his insecurities out on me.

      • Thank you for being so blunt. Beliefs are chosen… you were born the way you are. I think you should be respected much more than his beliefs should be.

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