Summer Update

I suppose I should start blogging again.

Let’s see, where did I leave off…


Well. For a brief bit of time there, I had heard of a career opportunity that sounded perfect for me. I learned everything I could about it, and more and more it was the right choice. Then I learned that being on antidepressants disqualifies me for it. For the six weeks or so where I thought I had a plan for the rest of my life, a strange feeling came over me. One of calm, and happiness. No matter what was going on in my life right now, things were going to be okay. I had a plan. I was moving forward. Then I learned the plan wouldn’t happen and all those six weeks of anxiety and fear caught up with me at once. I was rigid in bed, cold with terror. Not a recommended experience.

I’ve got a new plan now. It’s harder, and riskier, and with less sense of purpose and meaning, but if all goes well I should be able to buy a house in a few years. I’m going to become a coder or a database administrator. Something along those lines. Hopefully that will be enough to buy me a house and stock away some money for retirement. My sister just bought a house down in the Bay that she’s agreed to let me stay at for a little while, so that helps immensely.

A few weeks ago, I was awarded a scholarship to the Cascade Writer’s conference, and I’m really looking forward to that. The conference, and my mother’s visit in early August, are the only things keeping me here. Once those are done, I’ll be packing up to move fairly quickly. It’s been a long time coming. It took me 2 years to recover enough to be able to make decisions on the basis of what I wanted rather than what I needed to do to survive, and I’m excited to be able to make that kind of choice again.


2 thoughts on “Summer Update

  1. Hey, Kaigou here — followed your OpenID since you wouldn’t get an alert if I just replied to your reply on my DW. (Ignore the wp acct; it was the only one I could remember off the top of my head.)

    First thing! Noticed your comment about becoming a coder/developer — word to the wise, front-end dev is VERY hot right now. I highly recommend joining Meetup and finding out about Girl Develop It classes, although there are meetups in all kinds of things and many of the meetup groups also do classes. There should also be a MakersSquare in your area, which pairs up students (in their program) with newbies, based on the idea that what improves your skills is teaching them to other folks. So you go to one of their Meetups with a laptop (get one cheap if you don’t have one, it doesn’t have to be fancy), and tell them what you want to learn, and you’ll get to pair-program with a student-teacher. It’s totally awesome; you’ll be doing the coding but the student-teacher is there to answer questions, help you figure things out, suggest better ways, and cheer you on. Being a student at MakersSquare does require tuition, but it’s free to be a student’s student, since the students get credit for their tutoring hours.

    I went to my first Women Hacker’s Night (they do presentations and sometimes it’s just chatting) and at the get-together afterwards, met a bunch of cool women who — unlike guy-reactions — were all, “you can do this! go for it!” That was last November, and now I’m a javascript developer at a company that is totally awesome and I’m learning lots. (And I’m really only a junior dev when it comes to javascript, but I’m doing Angular, which is one of the hottest things out there, salary-wise and demand-wise: find out more at, which has step-by-step videos walking you through, best site I ever found for getting the basics.)

    Although the real reason for leaving the comment was to let you know I replied over on my DW, since I wasn’t sure you’d want to get into that here, so I figured I’d continue the thread there.

    And most of all, good luck on the writer’s conference! 😀

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